In just 12 short hours, God willing, you will be in your mama's arms. I have sooo very much enjoyed carrying you around from a tiny little snowflake to the wiggly, squirmy little man you've grown into. I will very much miss feeling you roll around in there and feeling that little foot jab me in my right side all day long. Yet I can't wait to see your little toes and touch those little feet, to see your chubby cheeks and stare into your eyes. You truly are God's gift to us - our little bonus baby. It still seems so surreal that God would bless us not just once, but twice through the gift of embryo adoption. I look at your sister and I am in awe of God's plan for her - that He froze her and saved her just for us. I can't even fathom that God would not only save one sweet frozen baby for us, but two! We are so very blessed.
I think back to when our clinic first got the report of our 3 embryos from the clinic that froze them. The records showed that when you were frozen, the power went out - just for a second, but it was just during the freeze process and we know how delicate and fragile you were. The clinic told us to pick new embryos, to send you back. But we knew that you were ours. We had hope. We prayed and prayed that God would do mighty things. And boy, did He ever!!
Against the odds, you survived the thaw and you grabbed on so tight to mama's belly. When the nurse told us that we lost you at 14 weeks, you held on even tighter. When we saw you at your 18 week ultrasound, you gave us the thumbs up, letting us know everything would be ok.
I've been trying to come up with a song to play for you when you come into this world. Your sister's was "What a Wonderful World" - it had so much meaning to us during our infertility journey and then in our pregnancy, too. Today at church, they played a hymn that reminded me of a song that I used to play over and over again when Daddy and I were waiting. As I stood there and sang along, tears flooded my cheeks and I knew that this was your song - you are the culmination of our journey. It is done. It is finished. We have been blessed not only once but twice. Our hearts are full, our family is complete. Here are the words to the song.....
He's Always Been Faithful....by Sara Groves
Morning by morning I wake up to find the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season I watch him amazed, in awe of the mystery of his perfect ways. .
Chorus: All I have need of his hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me. .
I can't remember a trial or a pain he did not recycle to bring me gain.
I can't remember one single regret in serving God only and trusting his hand. .
Chorus . This is my anthem, this is my song, the theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, he will be again. His loving compassion, it knows no end. . Chorus
When I used to listen to that song in the midst of our struggles, it gave me hope. It taught me to cling to God and His promises and I would not be disappointed. I knew that God could use any trial, any pain to bring me gain - I just had to believe Him and trust in His plan. Little boy, you have already revealed the power of God to us and you haven't even taken your first breath. You truly are God's gift to us and I cannot wait to see how He will continue to use you to bring Him glory.
Love you more than you will ever know,
Your Mommy
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