Dear Baby Boy......

Oh Bubbers,

How is it that when you wake in the morning, you will be 2 already?!?!  I must admit this year has been SO fun with you that it seems like forever ago that you turned 1 and I can hardly remember what life was like before you.  You are an adorable, silly, sweet, polite, sassy, little boy.  You steal this mama's heart every morning when I get my morning hug and I really truly feel like you are the little boy I never knew I needed.  But God did.  And I'm soooooo thankful that He gave you to us!!

You are definitely ALL boy.  You love all things boy.

Mud

and Puddles

and

Monster Trucks

Diggers

Dump Trucks

Garbage Trucks

Fire Trucks

And wait, you're not picky.....anything with wheels!

You talk.  A lot!  I'm pretty sure you talk as much if not more than your sister did at this age, though you aren't quite as clear to understand as she was.  Some of the funny/cute things you say:

-"Oh man!!"

-"Coming up!"

-"Push the button, mommy, push the button"

-"I tro it in the garbage mommy?"

-"watch dump truck mommy?"

You repeat everything I say after I answer your question.

"Where we going Mommy?"

"To the store, Alex"

"To the stooore?" - always with an emphasis on the last syllable as if he's asking me back

And then 8 seconds later he asks the same question all over again and we repeat this conversation all the way until we get to the store.  I secretly love it and I could play this little game with him all day long.  I could just eat up that sweet little voice.

Every day after Makenna gets on the bus, you ask me "where Kenna mommy, where Kenna?" and then you repeat your typical list - "where Ben?" "where Dom and Zach?"  and then you often finish with "where Cookie Beek mama?"  

I have no idea why you think of her so often because we only get up to see her every few weeks but I think it is so sweet.

You are slowly starting the temper tantrums.  For the most part you will take "a minute" and then you tell me you are "all better".  You still like to SCREAM when you want something you can't have - most often my phone or the IPad.  Stinker.

You have some KILLER blue eyes and it is the feature you most often get a comment about.  I'm convinced they have some sort of twinkle in them and I fear that you will be quite the heartbreaker when you grow up.

You are cute.  Inside and Out.  You have the sweetest little personality and you eat up all the attention you get.

Your favorite food is definitely PBandJ.  You would eat it at every meal if I let you.

Your favorite shows are Paw Patrol, 

Sesame Street and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, though you will watch whatever Sissy decides to watch.

You LOVE to watch the twentytrucks.com videos on You Tube with all the different types of trucks. You do a silly little dance everytime it comes on and you get SOOOO excited.

You like to watch Brewer highlights and listen and dance to Badger songs with Daddy.

You can jump pretty high off the ground with both feet and you throw the ball pretty well with your left hand, too.

Your think your name is Bubbies - when I ask  you "Alex what is your name? you smile and say "Bubbies!!"

Overall, you are just the cutest, sweetest, silliest little boy and we love you to pieces.  I look forward to celebrating your birthday tomorrow and the rest of the week!!  

We love you Alex!!

Our first broken bones...

Well, I must admit I certainly thought it would be Alex that would give us our first broken bones in this family......

We picked Makenna up from after school care last night to find her in hysterics after she fell trying to slide down a pole.  Nothing was swollen and her injuries didn't point to any broken bones so we assumed maybe she just strained something and thought we'd wait it out.  She was pretty miserable all night (we went out to dinner for Uncle Derek's birthday) but perked up once cake came and fell asleep on the way home.  We had Dr. Cada stop over to check on her at bed time (she woke up and INSISTED that he check her out now - she didn't want to go back to sleep) - again nothing glaring so we decided to let her sleep on it and see how she did today.  This morning she woke up still hurting and after talking to Dr. Cada again at the bus stop (yes, it is AWESOME to have your pediatrician as not only a neighbor but a good friend) we decided an X Ray was probably in order.  

So I sent her on the bus and picked her up early afternoon to head to the Orthopedic's office.  Here she is when I picked her up - still smiling, but still not quite herself.....

Boooo!!

They X Rayed her and found a fracture in her shoulder.  The good news is that it is near a growth plate so it should heal up well on it's own.  The bad news is that she has to wear this brace to keep her from moving it for 4-6 weeks.  That means bye bye soccer..... and bike riding.....and basketball.....and her scooter.....and recess.    Poor kid!  I don't think all that stuff has quite set in yet..... Might be a LONG 4-6 weeks!  She also keeps complaining of neck pain which we haven't pinpointed a cause of yet - we're hoping it's just the strain from overcompensating with her shoulder but if it still hurts in a few days we'll need to go back for further evaluation.

Thankfully she was a trooper!  She chose George Webb's pancakes for dinner and of course....

Some ice cream for dessert....

And was even nice enough to share some with Bubbies....

We love you Kenna girl & we hope and pray that your shoulder heals quickly and without further incident.  

Guest Speaker

Tonight I'm sharing our story of embryo adoption to a group of pretty awesome ladies in the local RESOLVE support group meeting.  I joined RESOLVE back in 2008 when we first got our diagnosis and it made ALL the difference in getting me through the hardest days of my life.  I wanted to do a post for any of you ladies that are checking out my blog with some links to some of my blog posts that I think you might find encouraging. While most of this blog has been dedicated to me capturing each (and every it seems) moment with our kiddos, I have taken some time to just sit down and reflect about the journey and I'm going to put a link to some of those posts below so you don't have to scroll through the entire blog.  Know that you have been on my heart and mind all day.  I pray for you often even though I may not even know you, I know the desires of your heart.  I'm looking forward to meeting some of you tonight and I look even more forward to seeing how God is going to use this really crappy think called infertility in your life to do some pretty amazing things.  I know right now it almost doesn't seem possible, but it is.  And He will.  If you let Him:)

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2013/02/why-embryo-adoption.html

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2015/01/that-dirt.html

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2013/10/dear-baby-boy.html

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2014/05/best-mother-day-present-ever.html

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2014/11/sunrise.html

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2015/08/9-years-ago.html

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2009/10/is-that-lima-bean.html

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2013/03/friday-night-in-er.html

http://snowflakebabygirl.blogspot.com/2014/11/gotcha-day.html

Adios training wheels

It's official. We have a two wheel bike rider in the family. She's been working so hard all summer and riding a balance bike that we borrowed from the neighbors.it's amazing how far she's come in just a few short months. I sensed that she was probably ready and this afternoon we decided to take off the training wheels and give it a try.  She did awesome! I needed to give her a little boost the first time just so she could get going. Within five minutes she wanted to do it all by herself. She did great. The neighbor boy Ben was there to cheer her on. She was so proud of herself. She just kept yelling "this is awesome! This is awesome! I can't believe I'm doing it!"  

 

She looks like such a big girl on the bike! My kenna girl is growing up too fast. I'm such a proud mama!  Way to go Kenna girl!

First day of 5k!

Today was Makenna's 1st day of 5k!  Hard to believe she is already big enough to be going to school all day, every day!?!

She's SO ready and was up bright and early dressed and ready to go at 6:15am..... and the bus doesn't come until 8:22!

We went to see Inside Out yesterday as a family and Makenna's favorite character was Disgust - this is the pose that she does when she is trying to imitate Disgust....goofball. 

Soooo excited!

Disgust pose again..

This little stinker was STILL sleeping at 8:10am so I had to wake him up so he wouldn't miss the bus stop.

A super quick picture of these 2

Before they saw Maddie and Ben heading for the bus stop.  Love how excited they all are to see each other.  You would think they went all summer without seeing them, when in reality we saw them just about every day this summer.

His face when he spots Ben.  Every.  Time. 

Zach & Ben - 1st Grade, Makenna 5k

That goofy Disgust pose again.

The bus stop is SHEER craziness!

She of course, spotted the "frenemy" Darby and sat right by her..... oh boy.  At least they aren't in the same class this year!

Mommy is sad Kenna is gone, Daddy is happy he got to get her on the bus and Alex just keeps asking - "where's Kenna?"

Makenna with her friend Olivia

 

Her class - notice the "disgust" pose once again and the boy that is looking at her like she is crazy - lol!!

3:30 - where's sissy?!

Here she comes!! 

Yay!!  The bus driver didn't drive right past us this year like he did last year!!  LOL!  

This note from her teacher was tucked away in her folder....sniff sniff

This one is excited to play with "My Kenna!"

The neighbors invited us over for a little water gun & sprinkler fun to celebrate the first day of school 

Kiddos..

This summer is going by way to fast and I need to write down what we're up to and the stages the kids are in before I just plain forget!!

Makenna:

Makenna has had a BUSY summer - from camp zoom to Ms. Jamie's house to tball and playing with the neighbor kids we haven't had many quiet moments.  She never complains though and absolutely loves life.

She LOVES to draw and color and most spare moments around the house you will find her either drawing a picture of a princess or a bride-girl or trying to write out words.  I think I have at least 100 pictures of me and her with the words Mom and Love with a heart.

She still loves to sing and dance.  Just tonight we were sitting at dinner and daddy put on the Big Hero 6 theme song and she got up and started waving her hands in the air and lip syncing the words. We couldn't help but bust out laughing at her.

She hates animals.  We were at State Fair this weekend and she CRIED every time we got near the animal exhibits.  The only way I can convince her the zoo will be fun is if I tell her we'll go on the train and the carousel.  Goofball.  Her teacher this year is Mr. Dargatz & he used to work at the zoo with Grandpa so his theme for his classroom is the zoo - might be an interesting year:)

She loves her Bubbers - lately she tries wrestling him, dancing with him and her favorite - bonking his nose.  For the most part they get along really well together - other than the occasional - HE'S IN MY TOYS!  And the best sound in the world is the sound of them both giggling together.

Somehow she's gotten even prettier.  The girl is BEAUTIFUL.  Seriously beautiful.  We're gonna be in big trouble when she's a teenager.  Gotta start praying about that now.

This girl has the biggest heart.  Tonight we were talking about school starting this week & how she can be a good friend and she starting naming off all the ways she could be kind & then told me that she want to work really hard at "bemembering" the fruits of the spirit so she can show each of these to the people around her, even when they aren't being kind & then she rattled them all off.  She SO excited for school to start & while I'm sad to see her start full days, I know she is going to love it & learn so much.  

She continues to be such a polite little girl - she is very quick with her please and thank you's and the other day when she was at Ms. Jamie's she told her how thankful she was that she did such a great job taking care of her.  I just love her to pieces.  

Alex:

He officially calls himself "Bubbies" - tonight Daddy's showed him a picture of himself and asked him who it was - "Bubbies!"

He is talking like crazy, though some of it is still hard to understand.  He tries to repeat just about anything we say.  He started calling Makenna "Kenna" instead of "sissy" and he has the cutest little voice when he says it. Today he was calling her "my kenna", too.

He loves to sing.  He sings the alphabet song,  Let it Go and makes up words that noone can understand to other things he sings too.

He has a "man laugh" - it used to only come out when he would see the neighbor boy, Ben but he went through a phase where he would do it all the time.  It's a really deep laugh that almost sounds a little fake.  It's hilarious.

He is pretty good at holding mommy's hand when I tell him to and it's the best feeling ever.  He holds my little pointer finger so nicely and when he loses it he says "hand, hand, hand".

His favorite bedtime story is Hickory Dickory Dock, read by Daddy and Daddy only.  Mommy just doesn't do it as well.

He loves to "nuggle".  I've been snuggling with him on the porch when he wakes up too early and lately he's been saying - "porch.  nuggle.  porch. nuggle"  every night before bed.                                                                                                                                                                                                     He's all boy - obsessed with cars, diggers, dump trucks, you name it.

He is also a very polite little boy - lots of please and "thank you/welcome" which is all one word. Lately when I tell him to say please, he says "please ha ha" with a high pitched laugh after because he is so excited that he is about to get whatever it is he is saying please for.  Just like Makenna used to, he says "thank you" over and over again when he tries to give me something - most often his nuk and blankie.  Goof.

This kid LOVES his smoothies.  It's how I get veggies in him and every morning when we go downstairs the first thing he says is "moothie?"  "waffle"?

He's in a bit of an anti-daddy streak which I think is almost over.  He talks about daddy non-stop, but when he's tired or cranky he refuses to go by him and just yells instead.  Stinker. 

He's getting a little more of the 2 year sass in him..... his favorite words are "no like", "mine", "want it" and "stop it".  

Overall, these 2 kiddos are an absolute blast to be around - they are just so easy to care for.  They play nice together most days and love to entertain themselves either with coloring, playing with cars or being silly together.  It is so fun watching them grow into little people.  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

9 years ago....

I was reminiscing the other day about the journey God has me on and how much I learned about Him in our infertility journey and how cool it is to be on the "other side" of those struggles.  It's amazing how much you can learn from God in the hard times and how looking back you can see that even when we struggle, He is always faithful and never leaves our side.  It gives me hope as new struggles come into my life that God can and will use this for His glory, if only I let Him.  There are days when that is SO hard, but then there are days when you can really feel the Holy Spirit living and moving in you.  That's another blog post for another day.....

Anyway, I came across some pictures and the speech I gave that sunny day in August on the shores of Lake Michigan 9 years ago and thought they were worth posting so I'd always have them on here......

True story - I was SOOOO nervous to get up in front of our church and my friends & family and share this.  A friend had made me a bead bracelet the night before and told me it was to give me courage to get up there and speak.  That morning I got up & put on my "courage" bracelet and it broke into a million pieces!!  

Turns out the Holy Spirit was just trying to teach me that He was willing to give me all the courage I needed....

And after getting up in front of our church this day, I was asked to do the same 3 more times to share parts of our infertility struggles and how God was working in and through them and then again when I was pregnant with Makenna to share His faithfulness.  What a blessing to be able to share these things with our church family!

It was SUCH a beautiful day

This was the perfect place for me to get baptized.  Lake Michigan was always the place I would run to to find God - I loved walking along the beach, people watching and sitting by the shore watching the waves crash in.  I remember going there in college, in my single days after college and with Brad once we started dating.  When I found out my church was going to do baptisms there, I knew I needed to do it!

Here's my "story" I read to the church that day.....

While I have known about Jesus my entire life, it is within the past few years that I have really come to know who He is and what role he plays in my life here on earth and the life eternal in heaven. From childhood on, I was fortunate enough to have exposure to the life and ministry of Jesus. I was raised in a religious family – attended church every Sunday and was brought up with strong morals & values. This provided an important background that I tried to build on my entire life. Yet I always felt there was some piece of the puzzle missing – like there was something I wasn’t getting. You see – in my mind, I had believed my good works would get me into heaven.

I saw my relationship with God as a “drive” down the highway on the road to heaven. One in which there were certainly bumps along the way, but for the most part, I paid the required tolls by doing good deeds, asked for directions by praying to God and, as far as I was concerned, I was headed in the right direction.

Growing up, I prayed often, but it was always the same childish prayer, rarely ever a real discussion with God. After high school, I came to Milwaukee to go to school at Marquette. I still remember my senior year of high school, while going through the confirmation process, becoming aware of the fact that my faith was missing something, but didn’t know what. I assumed this bump in the road would pass, thinking that once I went away to college, I’d figure out this whole faith thing. I would have plenty of opportunities there to develop some sort of relationship with God.

But college came and went, and my relationship with God stayed the same. I went to church fairly regularly, prayed when I needed something and even went on a religious retreat, hoping my relationship with God would develop. It may have for awhile, but soon after, things returned to normal. Sure I continued to ask for directions and pay my tolls, but our relationship wasn’t getting very far. I was set on “cruise control.”

After college, I moved back home for a summer and went through some difficult times in my life. It was during these times I felt I needed God the most; that I really started to open my eyes to God. I remember telling myself that God had a plan and that I needed to trust in Him and everything would be ok. As Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do and He shall direct your path.” During that time, I remembered these words, and my relationship with God started to open up. My foot was on the accelerator and on my journey with God had sped up, or so I thought.

Once I returned to Milwaukee to start work in the fall, my relationship with God continued to grow. I was talking with God more than ever before. I was going to church and listening, really listening for any hidden message the scriptures might hold for me each Sunday but there still seemed to be something missing. Soon after, things picked up in life. I made several new friends at work, through whom I soon met Brad. Ironically, as a result of all these blessings he had bestowed upon me, I started to forget about him. I made less of an effort to continue talking with God.

Soon after meeting Brad, we were driving downtown one Sunday night and were just seconds away from being hit by a speeding car that ran a red light. For me, the incident came and went & I didn’t think much of it – a close call and nothing else. But that incident struck a cord with Brad that night.

That next day, Brad asked me if we had died that night if I thought I would be in heaven. I said yes – that I was a good person – didn’t sin much and obeyed God. After all, good works got you into heaven, right? Well, so I thought.

Little did I know that that event in our lives would lead me to finally understanding what it was that was missing in my own relationship with God. Soon after the near-accident, Brad began doing bible study with a colleague at work that reintroduced him to the idea of grace. He would bring up what he learned to me every once in awhile and my reaction was similar every time, how is this different from what I believe?? I believe in God. I have faith. I do good deeds. I pray. What am I missing? I lived a good life. I was a nice person, for the most part. Over time, this incident forced me to challenge the idea of good works as a means to salvation.

After several late night talks with Brad, I began to discover what grace really was. My good works in themselves are not enough to get me into heaven. It was starting to make sense. For if I could earn my way into heaven, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?

After reading Galatians 2:21, everything sort of clicked. “For if we could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die.” I now realize that in my drive with Christ up to this point, I had been reading the wrong map. My map told me my journey would be filled with opportunities to do good works and in doing each good work along the way, I would get closer and closer to heaven, when in fact the map he had laid out for me took me in quite a different direction.

In my map, I thought I needed to pay tolls along the way if I wanted to continue. On his map, however, I noticed there were no tolls required. You see on his map, He had paid all the tolls for me. This was grace. He had died for me, so that my journey to heaven was possible. And all I needed to do was believe this and live my life for Him – to follow Him.

I now see that while my relationship with God had matured over the years, I was still far short of truly understanding God’s grace and presence in my life and of pursuing any type of meaningful relationship with Him. I believed in Jesus, but never really knew Jesus and the price he paid for my salvation in dying on the cross. In my mind, doing good deeds was going to save me.

I now realize my good works are not a means to salvation, but rather an act of appreciation and gratefulness for the salvation he has already given me. My good works are an opportunity for me to profess my faith in him – to show through my actions that I have chosen to follow him & to encourage others to follow him as well.

How ironic that it took a near car accident for Brad and in time, me, to discover I that I had the wrong map. Not only that, but in my “drive” with God up to this point, I had neglected to use the “compass” he had given me in the bible.

Today, I know how important that “compass” is in pointing me in the right direction. My focus now is on following God – and what better tool than His word to help direct my path. Since I have made the decision to accept God’s grace in my life instead of rely on my own good works, I have a new desire to read the bible – to study it and find out what purpose God has for me. I have a new desire to do good works – to thank him for the gift of salvation and to be an example to those around me just as Jesus’ disciples were.

Today, I want to be baptized before Metrobrook church as a symbol of my new life in Christ. Over the past year, Metrobrook has been the “gas station” I so desperately needed to keep me filled up in my drive. It has been the answer to so many of my prayers for friendship, fellowship and guidance. Today, I choose to follow Him.

I now realize that while I may not be very far down that highway I call my relationship with God, my tolls have been paid, my tank is full thanks to many of you, I am utilizing the compass He has provided and God is by my side.