Enjoy Each Day....

Back in September, the night before our embryo transfer we were blessed to have nearly 20 of our closest friends and family come around us and pray over us and the upcoming embryo transfer. We had them all over to our house and as we sat around the living room, people went around and lifted us up in prayer. It was an AMAZING night - so humbling to see all these people coming together just for us. Pastor Jenny prayed that we would enjoy each day of our pregnancy - no matter what God had in store. At the time, it was a prayer of peace for me - that I wouldn't worry whether or not the embryos had latched on and decided to stick around, that I would just have peace each day and not worry about the looming pregnancy test and if the transfer was successful or not. It was a very thoughtful prayer and one that I really feel God answered as we awaited the news of our pregnancy. That first 10 day waiting period can full of anxiety and worry - trying to find a balance between hope and caution.

Having gone through a miscarriage after our first transfer, I had very mixed emotions going into the second transfer. We had a prayer night the night before our first transfer too and I left feeling like this simply had to work - that it had to be God's plan for us. I think I even prayed a prayer of thanks for my infertility - that God had really used it in my life and He had brought all these amazing people into our lives. I remember commenting that I was the ony gal in the world that had 20 people over to my house to pray over me the night before I was to get pregnant. You just don't get that when you're relying on "the old fashioned way" :)

When we found out news that we had miscarried just days after our positive pregnancy test, we were crushed. I didn't understand how this could have possibly failed. We had all those people praying over us. We had fully embraced embryo adoption and it was just such a perfect option, it had to work didn't it?

What I learned in the next few months as we grieved the loss of these babies and went through the re-matching process to find another family was that God could and would use our pain, if only we let Him. In the next few months, Rachel and I started a bible study with the ladies from our infertility support group. Its been such a privilege to walk with these women through our infertility struggles and I found that in going through this miscarriage, I was better able to relate and to really talk about the power of God in my life and what it really means to trust in Him fully. This had been a lesson He had been working hard to teach me over the past years of our infertiity struggle, but this time it took on new meaning. As healing slowly followed, I was again reminded to "enjoy each day" rather than worry too much about what would happen next.

Ironic that today, my prayers have been answered, I'm about to meet my little miracle and I have to remind myself to enjoy each day. Our doctor's appt on Thursday showed I was still just 1 cm dilated. I left a little frustrated, a little uncomfortable with my ever growing belly and wondering if I'd ever get to meet this little girl. I'm sure hormones have much to do with these feelings and I'm pretty sure every pregnant woman that gets to this point probably thinks the same thing. But yesterday morning I remembered Pastor Jenny's words - "Enjoy each day" - and slowly, my heart began to change. I have waited a long time to feel life moving around in my belly. Its one of the reasons we chose embryo adoption - so that I would be able to experience pregnancy. And yes, I may be getting a little uncomfortable and sleep is getting tougher, but I AM going to enjoy each day from here on out.

39 weeks

Wow, 39 weeks already - how time has flown by. We're looking forward to tomorrow's doctors appointment to see if we're making any "progress". Last Thursday I was a whole 1cm dilated and it felt like quite the accomplishment.

Unfortunately daddy managed to catch quite the cold in the last few days - we're hoping he can get rid of it quickly before she decides to make her arrival.

Other than that, I think we are both ready for her and looking very forward to meeting this little monster thats been making all these funny movements in my belly lately. Right now I think she's trying to get comfortable in what little space remains in there - she's flopping from side to side making my belly all lopsided:) I love it!

The finishing touches are complete!

Yay!! Daddy did a nice job with the Brewers logo. So glad its finally done:)
Lucky little girl's initials fit the MB in the Brewers logo perfectly. Daddy is so proud of this fact..

Can't wait to rock her to sleep in our new chair

We have LOTS of reading to do!

Now, we just wait for her arrival!!

38 weeks, well almost....

Brad and I went out to a nice dinner to celebrate Mother's Day, my birthday, our anniversary and the impending baby day. With so much to celebrate, I tried to save room for a yummy dessert, but this little girl is taking up way too much room in there and I can't seem to eat much of anything without feeling really full these days. We had a lovely night and a really nice mother's day today. This morning, on the way to chuch I got 2 emails and a text message wishing me a Happy Mother's Day - I teared up at each of them. I can't believe this day is finally here. Just a year ago, we received our match Snowflakes and were busy reviewing the letter, pictures and information from the genetic family. We were cautiously optimistic that this would be it - that this transfer would result in a pregnancy and that our prayers would be answered. We were still pretty heart broken after our first transfer resulted in a miscarriage earlier last year, but ready to forge ahead and continue on with embryo adoption. God really answered our prayers with the family whose embryos He was saving just for us:) We are so looking forward to finally meeting this little girl that was frozen last year at this time. How crazy!

Happy Mother's Day, to me?

I just got a card in the mail from a dear friend of mine wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. That's right, me. I teared up reading it, remembering the past five Mother's Days & how each was a painful reminder that I was not a mother, but wanted to be so very badly. Mother's day can be tough for infertiles - we have such mixed emotions, so thankful for the wonderful mothers we have, but left wondering if we will ever be able to partake in this celebration for ourselves. My hope this Mother's Day is that each of you reading it would say a special prayer for those women in your lives that yearn to be moms. Tomorrow will certainly be a special day as I celebrate the life growing inside me and the answer to my prayers. At the same time, I'm sure it will still be painful as I think of all the women I've met on this journey that are still waiting.

37 weeks

Wow, does that really say 37 weeks?? I can't believe my pregnancy is almost over and its time to meet this little girl!! I must say that I'm still feeling great and loving pregnancy. Sure, I'm a little uncomfortable from time to time carrying this watermelon around, but for the most part I still really feel good. People keep telling me I don't look that big - I think that's just something nice people say to you near the end of your pregnancy 'cuz I certainly FEEL big. Ha! I love it, though.

Its May.....

May has always been a big month for me. I was born in May. I love the spring - the grass turning green, flowers blooming, an end to tax season:) My anniversary is in May. This year, Brad and I will celebrate 7 years together - my how time flies! The picture below is of the tree in front of our house - its a crabapple tree and it its the most beautiful tree for about a week out of the year - in early spring it gets pretty pink flowers all over it. I wanted to make sure I got a picture of me, in May, by my tree, pregnant with my little miracle baby. I got it just in time as the flowers are already started to blow off it. Happy Spring! Happy May!

Wow, I can't believe May is finally here. Yesterday I was listening to K-Love on the way into work and they were saying May 2010 is finally here - what have you waited until May 2010 for? I teared up as I thought of this finally being the month (hopefully) that I meet my little girl. I've waited over 4 years for this! Heck, I've waited my whole life for this. I can't believe its finally about to happen! And as I look back on how I dreamed this would be, never in a million years would I have imagined it like this. God has bigger and better plans than we can even phathom. And the years of waiting, the years of wondering if this day would ever come - I'd like to think they have made me a better woman, a better wife, a better Christ follower and a better mom. And I am so thankful to the couple that gave us this gift of life - this little baby, tiny as can be and frozen - just waiting, waiting for us and waiting to fufill our dreams. Little girl, you are my dream come true. I can't wait to meet you!!!

More celebration....

Our Tuesday night bible study group was nice enough to have a little celebration for us after our study the other night. Mary made a diaper cake, yummy cupcakes and even decorated for us. We got some super cute gifts from them, too. Its so humbling to think of all the people that have prayed for us on this journey and continue to pray for us - thank you Tuesday nighters!! It was nice to finally be able to celebrate an answer to your prayers!!

Weekend fun...

Rachels' hubby was out of town for the weekend, so we had her over for dinner on Friday night and "movie night" watching In The Womb - Multiples. She was kind enough to bring over the makings for rice krispie treats. Here she is licking the bowl clean:) (Sorry Rach, I couldn't resist posting this:)) - we did manage to polish off over half the pan that night... Between the 2 of us, we were feeding 4 kids. Ha!

Rachel's baby shower on Sunday was lots of fun! It was so nice to be able to celebrate her pregnancy and these 3 precious triplets she is expecting. Makenna will have lots of playmates! Rachel is a little over 25 weeks pregnant and I am just under 36. Her belly has defintely surpassed mine!

Aren't we cute? Getting chubbier by the day!

I know I've posted about this before, but I feel so lucky to have Rachel in my life. Its been such a blessing to walk through infertility, embryo adoption, pregnancy and soon parenthood together! I love you, Rachey!!

35 weeks

35 weeks already! Wow, how time has flown by. We're in the homestretch now. I am continuing to LOVE pregnancy. After work today I sat and stared at my bare belly for 20 minutes just watching her squirm around in there like crazy. I love it & can't get enough of this little girl.

Her room is just about all done - we just need daddy to paint the MB logo (the old school Brewers logo also spell out dear Makenna's initials, so daddy decided he's going to paint it on the wall above her crib - I know, I know she's a girl, but he's doing it in pink and I'm spelling out her name in block letters above it & I actually think it will look pretty darn cute).

I have all her clothes washed & put away and have started packing my hospital bag "just in case" she decides to come early. We have a breastfeeding class this weekend and LOTS of reading we are hoping to do before she gets here. We met with our pediatrician yesterday & are excited to have found a doc we both really like.

I can't believe its almost May - she has a lot of big days to choose from with her birth - May 5th is my sister Amy's birthday. Mother's day is May 9th. My birthday is May 12th. Our anniversary is May 17th. My nephew's birthday is May 18th. And Uncle John's birthday is May 26th. My guess is she'll come on May 19th. Not sure why, just a hunch. We'll see......

Baby Fairy......

Today we got an email from the baby fairy. That's right, an email:


Hello Mom and Dad Best!

I hope you had a great tax season... I bet it's been a little more exciting than previous years as it has also been filled with much preparation for YOUR OWN tax deduction! After you wrap up the season's loose ends I hope you're able to relax and enjoy these last six weeks of waiting for Mackenna's arrival.

Love, Prayers, and "Best" Wishes!
The Baby Fairy


The email came from babyfairy@email.com. How crazy!!

We thought we were on to who you were, but this email threw us for a loop. Now we're stumped again!! We're still putting the clues together, but not sure who you are. Maybe you'll show up at the hospital with a fairy costume on once she's born, finally letting us know who you are! ha!

Future Fan

Kenna's first Brewer game!! Last Friday Brad and I went to the Exhibition game against the Tigers at Miller Park. The couple we adopted her from is huge Tiger fans so I thought it was appropriate that her first game was a Brewers/Tigers game! Looks like she's a good luck charm - Brewers WIN!

I bought this shirt right after we found out we were pregnant - it seemed HUGE at the time, but my big old belly seemed to fill it out quite nicely:)

34 weeks!

34 weeks already! Wow, how time has flown by. Makenna is officially clear to come at any point after today - before 34 weeks, the docs will try to stop labor - after 34 weeks, they let it come. We of course, would rather she kept on cooking for the remaining 6 weeks, but its good to know that she is doing well and has made it this far!

I'm feeling GREAT now that tax season is over. Yay!! This year was especially hard as a 10 or 12 hour day felt more like a 14 or 16 hour day, but I survived! Thanks to my dear hubby Brad for working his tail off to make sure me and Kenna were taken care of! Poor guy is beat and we are very much looking forward to a day off tomorrow!

Now that tax season is over, the fun begins - time to go through all Kenna's many many shower gifts & get organized, finish putting her room together and reading up on what's to come.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and well wishes in this journey! We are truly blessed by this miracle baby and can't believe its almost time to meet her.

Milwaukee Shower Pics

Last Sunday my mother-in-law threw me a shower in Milwaukee - thanks, Mary!! Everything turned out GREAT and I couldn't have asked for a better day! Thanks Sanam, Aunt Sharon, Katti and Kari for all your help, too!! And thanks to everyone that came to celebrate!!

Rachel, Allison, Cheryl, Hope, me, Katie, Diana & Allison - thanks for coming ladies! So glad you could make it!!!

The "Best" clan

Great Aunt Sharon had this made for us - isn't it soooo cute!! (disregard the goofy look on my face:))

I love these little hats with the big flowers on them - can't wait to see her in it!

Some UW Badger nuks - thanks Aunt Sharon!

And of course, a matching little sweatshirt. Daddy got a sweatshirt to match, too - thanks Sharon!

The happy little family:)

Brad's parents & us

Brad & our niece Madison. She couldn't wait for Uncle Brad to come!! She can't get enough of him!

There's always one tear-jerker gift at each of my showers - congratulations Rachel - you made me cry at this one!! She had a bib and a little onesie made that say "I was once frozen" with a picture of a little snowflake on it. So thoughtful and so original - love it!!

Carrie, Kim, Sarah & Dena

My niece Madison, sister Amy and Grandma

Kenna & Mads - so cute! She CAN'T WAIT to meet this little girl.

Kari & Katti, Brad's cousins. Aunt Sharon, where were you hiding?? I wanted to post a pic of you, but you managed to hide from the camera all day!

My little elves....

Ok, this post is a little delayed but I just finally got the pics and video from my future sis in law (thanks, Kate!). To let my family know that we were having a girl (since they live out of town), we had my brother and his fiance' play the role of our little elves and they left pink balloons and flowers on Great-grandma's doorstep, Auntie Amy's doorstep and on Grandma's table to surprise them all when they got home. I'm going to try to attach the video of my mom's reaction to it - hopefully it works! She thought we were going to wait until the next day when we got up there to tell her if it was a boy or a girl - so she was SHOCKED to be getting the news the night before:)

Why Makenna?

After 2 years of trying unsuccessfully to start our family, Brad and I took a trip to Hawaii to "get away" from it all. We came across the above beach "Makena beach" on one of our day trips and fell in love with it!! We decided that day that if we had a little girl, we would name her Makena. When I looked up what Makena meant, I found it meant "the gift of happiness." We were sold! After our ultrasound, Brad decided she needed another "n" in her name so we could shorten it to Kenna and so came the name Makenna, our precious little gift of happiness:)

Little Chute (my hometown) shower

Pictures from my Little Chute Shower - you can't see the decorations, but mom hung little pink snowflakes from the ceiling. I walked downstairs and teared up - so excited for this day to finally come!! Thanks, mom!!

Derek's girlfriend, Sanam, posing with Makenna:)

My mom, her mom, me, Brad's mom's mom and Brad's mom

My and all my high school girlfriends

The gals in my family - Grandma Van Beek (i.e. "Cookie Beek"), Mom, me, my sister Vicki, my sister Amy,niece Madison and soon-to-be sister in law Kate!

4 generations!

Shower fun!

My girlfriends from church threw me a shower after church on Sunday - it was so nice to be able to celebrate my pregnancy with so may women that have really come alongside me and been praying for me on this journey. I am so humbled by all their well wishes, prayers & support. We are so blessed to have found such an AMAZING church community. Thanks to Jamie & Elizabeth for putting this all together for us!

My favorite monkey from little miss Annika - thanks Annika!!

My good friend and old college roomie Deirdre helps me open gifts

Look at all those presents! Makenna is a lucky lucky little girl! Thanks everyone!

Daddy & Bugsey mourn the Badger loss - maybe Makenna will bring better luck in the NCAA tournament next year, boys.

Baby Fairy loves Bugsey, too!

Tax season has clearly gotten the best of me as I'm getting behind on my posts. The last thing I want to do after a long day's work is fire up the laptop and look at a computer screen. In my haste, I almost forgot the latest shout out to the baby fairy. The day after we recieved the baby Elvis CD, the baby fairy struck again - this time with treats for Bugsey. It had a nice little note about Bugsey being a good big brother & being all excited for his baby sister to come & had 2 fun little toys in it. The return address on this one was from somewhere in West Allis.... Hmmmm.. I'll have to google the exact address to see where this one was. Maybe it will be a clue - who are you baby fairy?

Pregnancy continues to treat me well - Little Makenna continues to move around like crazy, although now it is more squirms & rolls rather than kicks as she starts to get a little tight in there. Ha! She just squirmed a little as I typed that:)

Soon enough I will have to post some baby shower pictures. My mom threw me one up in Little Chute & it was great to catch up with all my high school girlfriends. Last weekend, the gals at church threw me one and this weekend, Brad's mom is throwing me one. We are so blessed to have so many people sharing in this journey and celebrating this little miracle with us!! It still feels so very surreal - we've waited so long for this & I can't believe its finally here!

Ok, back to work - will post more this weekend!!

Curtains

Thanks, Mom! The curtains look great!